Apparitional

I think that my great-great grandfather might have been a vampire. I don't drink blood or anything, and I do show up in mirrors, but only about one in six of those motion-sensor sinks works for me. I have to wave my hands around in front of the faucet like a lunatic, leaping sideways from one to the next until I find one that works. I usually give up on towel dispensers after the third or fourth try and just flap my hands around like a dog's ears until they're dry. For some reason, these things choose to ignore me, like I'm not even there.

Along these same lines, I cannot find a single review or comment anywhere about any of my music. Zero. This is weird, considering that this site gets hundreds of hits per day and my songs have been streamed tens of thousands of times all over the world. I would love to know who is listening and what you think... unless you don't like it, in which case, please hold your criticisms until after you've recorded six original albums on which you play every instrument. Then see if you can appreciate what I'm doing.

Every once in a while, someone buys my one published book, and for that, there actually is one review that exists out there in the web-o-sphere. I strongly suspect that my book was a required text for a graduate seminar and that the reviewer did not actually read more than a few pages of it. She gave it three stars and wrote one sentence about how the title should be different. Thanks for the tip about my already published book. I will file that under U for unhelpful. Also, if the publishers wanted to change the title, they could have.  

Oddly, I have more reviews on RateMyProfessor than I do about any of my music or other writing. So it you're reading this and you like my music and/or writing, then I encourage you to write a review somewhere, if only to prove that I do in fact exist. I'm starting to feel like Bruce Willis in that movie about the kid who sees dead people. I think it was called Die Hard 6: Die Most Harderest.

Thank you for supporting independent art.